A stray kitten named Santi

There I was in Greenbelt Church, waiting for my boyfriend outside. I saw a little kitten staring at nowhere, sitting still.

a couple or 2 walk pass her, and i kept on watching her... waiting for any movement she will make. but she was not moving. and then a a loud scream of a child shook her stillness and there she was sprinting her way out as if to avoid being stepped on by the kids running towards her.. I moved very quickly and tried my best to block the kid and grab the little kitty to safety.

That was the first moment we laid our eyes on each other. She was my Santi. My boyfriend gave her that name. It came from "saint", since she came from a church. :)

As I was holding her on my chest, she cried softly and stared at my eyes. I saw a little angel, helpless, and i imagine how hungry she must be. How much I wanted to take her home, but I already adopted 5 kittens, and adopting another one is really very hard. The expenses and all the medical treatments they have to get is affecting my budget already. :(

But her eyes, oh i can't seem to leave her alone in the dark. I said to myself, i will just wait for my bf to see him and maybe he can keep the little angel.

So my bf arrives. He was so surprised to see me standing outside a dark corner, so surprised to see mr grinning at him... there as he walk towards me. He saw what the grin was all about. Oh my God he said... where did you get that?

I told him i just wanted you to see her and then I will let her go... so he smiled... you will let her go???

I was not sure anymore. Because my heart wants to hold her more because i wanted her to feel loved and I want her to have someone and I wanted so much to feed her immediately. So we paused and think of a way how to feed her. I said lets buy her food in the nearby grocery store. And then what? Leave her again? Oh no I can't... I don't want to...

So I said let's skip church tonight and head back home because at home I have a lot to feed this little angel.

I put Santi on my lunch bag, peeping outside she suddenly cried while we were inside a jeep... she wanted to get out of the bag.. i was so unsure what made her cry that way... and there it was... she had discharge. We rush to clean her up and there at home I assessed her feces and with the smell and how it looks... it was obvious that she is a very sick kitten. As much as I wanted to keep her I was suddenly afraid for the other cats in the house. But what am I to do. I cannot throw her away and leave her to die. No, I can't.

So, with prayers and hope that my other babies will not be infected. We kept Santi.

She was so fragile, skin and bones... I tried to give her something to eat. She did ate a little.

All the while I thought she was improving. With a little cry once in a while as the big ones tries to hiss and growl at her but eventually she was able to feel at home after 2 days.

We consulted a vet and was advised to give her antibiotic. Deworming at this time is not advisable because her body is so weak, we needed to revive her and make her strong first for her to receive deworming and other preventive vaccines.

Her feces improved on the 3rd day. So I was happy. But she was not eating, very little and it worried me.

We gave her medicines, vitamins and other stuff to give her energy and revive her immune system.. but then again on the 7th day. I last saw her lookin at me... she was there lying and still like she always have.. but she was looking at me... i touched her head and said "i love you baby"... then i don't know why... i don't usually take a nap but I did. I felt my head ache and so I said I'll just take a little nap.

I woke up. Looked at her usual spot. She was not there. I thought maybe she went inside her dome box... so i got up and as i walk outside the room... there she was.. lifeless...

I touched her, she was so pale and she was gone, really gone.

I didn't know what to do... i cried and call my boyfriend... i was crying so hard my heart feels like exploding... I thought she was going to make it. I thought she was recovering and so I was wrong, silently with all the sleepless nights I spent just to keep an eye on her... she left me as I was on my sleep.

Maybe God didn't want me to see her death, I don't know but I'm just consoling myself and we just want to believe that now she doesn't have to endure anymore pain.

I wanted so much to give her my home. For her to experience how to have somebody who will take good care of her. I wanted her to play with my other cats, but maybe i was too late to save her life. Or maybe God just wanted me to meet her to give her some love. I'm not sure.

One thing is sure. She will forever be remembered and a part of our family.

Someone says Santi means peaceful. Well, by now Im happy that Santi is peaceful. Go and play without the pain baby. Mama and papa misses you so much.